A White Rose for

Father's Day

____Now I'll have to wear a white rose for Father's Day. I cringed

bitterly as I gazed over the crowd gathered at my dad's funeral. His death

was sudden. Too sudden. My thoughts went back five nights earlier.

____ "We'll come down Wednesday night and get a motel," he told me over

the phone after church. "That way we can see Drema in her program.

____ Drema, our youngest, had a small but big part in her class's autumn

program.

____ With more than 170 other children in the second grade, it was an

honor to have a speaking part, even if only a few lines. My parents didn't

get down often, and we were excited.

____ As we readied for school the next morning, the phone rang as our

two oldest were fighting over the bathroom.

____ "We can't make it down Wednesday after all," the caller said on the

other end of the line, catching me by surprise. Not until I realized who

the caller was, did I understand the call.

____ "I forgot. We have an important church board meeting Wednesday

night. I'm sorry, but we'll try to make it down the next week. Maybe

Friday," he concluded.

____ I knew how involved my dad was in his local church - he had been a

deacon, a Sunday school teacher, an elder, the chairman of the board. He

taught the adult Sunday school class. I understood and so did my wife.

____ "They're so busy," Marcella said as she combed out youngest's hair.

"I would've been surprised if they had made it down.

____ After supper that evening, Drema and I sat down to our daily reading

lesson.By 7:30, bath time was being discussed. We were deciding who had

gone firstlast night and whose turn it was this night. The kids sat down to

a few moments of television before their showers. The phone rang.

____ "Dale, I've got some bad news." It was my mother, and her voice was shaky.

____ She paused and fought back whimpers. My thoughts quickly went to

my grandmother who lives near her. Oh no, I thought. Grandma must

have died.

____ Your dad died. The words changed against the edges of my

consciousness,numbing my senses.

____ In times of tragedy, chaos reigns over those who are personally

affected. My thoughts grew fuzzy as I tried to maintain composure. Could

I be dreaming?

____ My mother's gasping for breath and fighting back sobs brought me

back to reality. I gained composure.

____ "Mom, what happened?

____ "A heart attack. He died in the emergency room about 6:30 this

evening."

____ Death can be quick and merciless

____ The funeral was a large one. As an active church member and

educator, my dad had lots of friends and associates and nearly every seat

was filled. Even many elementary children came to say good-bye to their

counselor. I looked back at all the family members and wondered what

they were thinking, and then turned to face the crowd. Yes, we'd have to

wear a white rose for Father's day this year.

____ In the funeral car, my youngest brother moved in beside me and

grabbed my arm.

____ "I was impressed," he said. "I couldn't believe the size of the crowd.

I never realized how much influence a person could have."

____ I didn't say anything, just stared out the front window. It was true.

Why hadn't I thought of it? Two memorials had already been established

in my father's name, one for the church organ and the other for a

graduating senior. His influence wasn't over. Then my mind quickly went

back to the viewing room where my dad lay.

____ Staring at the open casket, I thought about a casket that Dad had

carried back to Oklahoma from Kansas nearly 17 years ago, the one that

took our first daughter to her final resting place. Now her grandpa would

be next to her. How could he have done that? Could I have done that? I

thought as I stared. I brushed back tears as I turned to leave. But, of

course, tragedies can bring strength even to the weakest when we turn

things over to the One who is stronger.

____ I looked up to see my dad's associate Sunday school teacher coming

in to pay his respects.

____ "I was wondering if I could pin this on his lapel," the young man

said. He handed me a little pin that was inscribed "Christian Educator." I

reeled in sudden shock and braced myself against the doorjamb.

____ "I'm sorry," I said. "The funeral will be closed casket. No one will be able to see it."

____ "That's all right. It's something I want to do."

____ The driver opened the car door and brought me out of my thoughts.

Sure, wecould celebrate Father's Day without him. We would celebrate his

legacy -the importance of the Lord in his life, the importance of

education, the importance of community involvement; celebrating

Father's Day would be easy. Dad had left us a lot to celebrate.

____ I heard the starter grind as I smiled at my brother.

____ Yes, we would wear a white rose this year for Father's Day, proudly.

Published in THE LOOKOUT, Christian Standard on Father's Day, 1990, the year

my dad died. He turned 70 the April before and died in October. The spring

before, he want to his reunion at Granite, Oklahoma for the first time in

his life. This article was published on June 17, 1990. Like Darla's article,

this is one of my favorites. Dale